minxiekitten:

raubbenhood:

Disneyworld needs to make a rollercoaster based off of the ride Yzma and Kronk take to the lair. When the ride starts, Yzma’s voice yells “pull the lever, Kronk!” and the ride starts to move backwards so she yells “wrong lever!” and it shoots you forward.

WHY IS THIS NOT HAPPENING?!

exhists:

sometimes i think i do well on a test but then i get it back and see that i got 2/50 

madamisahumourist:

iburisu:

dang girl are you my appendix because I don’t understand how you work but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out

That is quite possibly the weirdest and most carefully thought out pickup line I’ve ever read. I applaud you.

envyadams:

FRIENDS is actually an acronym for the names of the characters :)

Fhoebe

Rachel

bIng, Chandler

MonEca

NJoey

D

RosS

actualucifer:

AND DON’T

FUCKING

TELL PEOPLE

THAT THEY’RE NOT TRYING

BECAUSE HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU KNOW IF THEY’RE TRYING OR NOT

JUST BECAUSE IT DOESN’T LIVE UP TO YOUR STANDARDS DOESN’T MEAN THEY’RE NOT TRYING

budvveiser:

Why do my body parts fall asleep before i do

Artist: UnknownBastille
Title: UnknownSleepsong
Album: Unknown
Plays: 1,296